Ep. 148 - Season 11 Finale: Getting Unstuck in a Complex World

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I started this season with the intention of exploring how people get unstuck — how people can overcome the inertia that sets in after a career setback, or a huge life change, or even just a particularly bad day.

The world is rapidly changing, faster and faster with every passing year, and that changes how we have to respond and prepare to move forward and thrive. So I hope this season gives you a little inspiration and empowerment that will help you navigate this complex world and take the next step you need to take in your career or life.

Key Takeaways from Season 11:

Don’t ignore the little voice in the back of your head that says something isn’t right about where you are. That’s important to help you find your fit.
Many “fill their heads with all kinds of limiting beliefs about why they can’t do something” because making a change is hard and you have to step into the unknown.
Don’t let unrealistic expectations for what change looks like dissuade you from making any change. Sustainable change starts small.
Sometimes we already know that we want to make a change in our careers, we might even know what we want to change, but we need something else to help us see our lives and the future through a different lens. Talking to other people can be a catalyst to help us get unstuck and see what’s possible.
“These changes don’t happen overnight, they happen over time.” Sometimes that means doing work from the inside out first. Sometimes that means mitigating risk by doing things like working part-time or endeavoring to shape your current work environment before taking a big leap.
Imposter syndrome, at the core, is believing we need to be somebody else in order to be successful.
More than 80% of successful professionals have reported feeling like an imposter at some point in their careers. It is a feeling that runs the gamut of all age groups, all genders, all industries, all roles.
Try to reframe imposter syndrome as a hint that you’re headed in the right direction — and then move forward. Too often, we doubt ourselves even when we’re being recognized by others for our expertise or leadership, but we can’t let that fear make choices for us.
Sheena Yap Chan defines self-confidence as knowing that you're capable, that you have the ability to make something happen. That doesn’t mean you can’t also be a little scared or uncomfortable, or even make mistakes.
We ultimately delay our own success when we deny our worth.
Next time you feel that voice creeping up in the back of your head, doubting you, try to take a moment to remind yourself of Paul’s Three A’s: awareness, advocacy, and action. This trains you to respond first, instead of reacting.

Bring awareness to the feeling. Remind yourself that 90% of successful people feel this way at some point in their lives, too, and they’re not all just faking it. This feeling comes for everyone, and incompetence is not a prerequisite.
Advocate for yourself. Remember that you wouldn’t be feeling this way if you weren’t trying to grow, trying to create something new. And that alone is impressive.
And then take action on whatever that voice was trying to hold you back from doing.

This isn’t going to magically make all of the fear go away, but these constant reminders that we’re normal for feeling this way, that it only happens because we’re trying to be a little better than we were yesterday, can slowly but surely allow you to reclaim your power from that fear.
We can often get too locked into our own perspectives and way of thinking. But to grow and develop, we need to get out of our comfort zone and seek out different thoughts, opinions, and experiences so that we don’t fall into the same patterns.
To continue that momentum of growth and development, it’s valuable to have a community of people that you meet with regularly that not only hold you accountable to what you are trying to do but also provide a safe space for you to be vulnerable and authentic.
Elaine Herring defines silence as “when there's not enough room in the conversation, in the meeting, for your real thoughts, opinions, preferences.”
We learn to silence ourselves on an individual, structural, organizational, social, and interpersonal level. From our early childhood to late in our careers, so many of us are learning that we can’t or shouldn’t be part of the conversation.
Unlearning silence first requires bringing awareness to “the assumptions and messages that we might have internalized over time about who gets to speak and whose voice matters, which is of course really who matters in the world.”
When we silence ourselves, this can lead to self-doubt and social isolation so it’s important to have the conversation with others and be clear about the role you want them to play - are you looking for them to just listen to you or be a thought partner to help you fill in the blank?
Learning silence limits who can contribute to the organizations they work within, as well as what they can contribute.
It is critical that leaders really consider how they personally silence people, often unconsciously, and who the structures within their organizations actually support.
Silence isn’t necessarily bad. Sometimes it’s needed for self-care and management depending on the situation. Only you can make that decision on when it makes sense or to have agency over the circumstance.
We have an opportunity to redesign the way that we communicate, but we have to bring awareness to what we’re doing now first.