Ep. 145 - The Tao of Self-Confidence: Imposter Syndrome, Trauma, Community, & Self-Love - with Sheena Yap Chan

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This is an episode that feels very personal to me, and one I feel will be able to connect with so many others.

My guest, Sheena Yap Chan, is The Wall Street Journal Bestselling author of “The Tao of Self-Confidence” and an award-winning podcast host who has interviewed hundreds of Asian women about their inner journey to self-confidence, which is all part of her journey to help women overcome their self-limiting beliefs and live a better life.

When I read Sheena’s book, I appreciated her desire to bring these cultural and historical mindsets to the forefront. Too often, we inherit limiting beliefs and behaviors that hold us back, and I really saw my own experiences reflected in those pages.

These barriers of self-confidence, imposter syndrome, trauma — these are universal challenges, and I think it’s so valuable that more people are openly talking about their experiences overcoming these roadblocks because, as Sheena shares in this episode, it’s so much harder for us to do that without community, without stories to fuel us with inspiration.

So I hope you are inspired by Sheena’s story, and I’m thrilled that I can support her on her mission to help Asian Women live their authentic selves and create a stronger voice in the world.

Changing the Narrative of Our Lives

Sometimes it can feel like you’re stuck in a specific role in life. You have to pursue a certain career, take a certain path, are expected to have children. It can feel like society’s expectations are limiting you. Then we start to tell ourselves these stories, whittling away at our own confidence and putting limits on what we can achieve.

And stories are powerful tools to shape how we think about who we are in the world — but we don’t have to keep telling other people’s stories. When we’re dealing with self-confidence, when we’re struggling with trauma, we have the ability to reframe the story that we’re telling ourselves, or that other people have told us about ourselves.

It’s not easy, but we’re not in it alone. So many of us struggle with these thoughts, but more than ever, there are communities and people out there who can offer support.

Definition of Success:

Success is being able to live your life on your own terms. A big house, fancy cars, white picket fences, the perfect family — that’s not what everyone dreams of for their future. When you give yourself permission to define success for yourself and pursue it, every step of the journey gets a little easier.

Key Takeaways:

Try to reframe imposter syndrome as a hint that you’re headed in the right direction — and then move forward. Too often, we doubt ourselves even when we’re being recognized by others for our expertise or leadership, but we can’t let that fear make choices for us.
Sheena defines self-confidence as knowing that you're capable, that you have the ability to make something happen. That doesn’t mean you can’t also be a little scared or uncomfortable, or even make mistakes.
We ultimately delay our own success when we deny our worth.
If we don’t talk about the trauma we’ve gone through or find ways to heal them, it will hold us back, and even hold future generations back. “The journey is not gonna be pretty, but it's so necessary so that we can show up as our best self,” says Sheena.
Sometimes you have to say no to the things that don't serve you because there's a bigger yes waiting for you.
Self-love isn’t just loving the good parts of you, but loving all parts of you. That's what makes you who you really are. That isn’t always easy, and as silly as it might sound, it takes practice. That’s why Sheena says these simple daily affirmations: “ I am loved. I am enough. I am worthy.”
It’s okay to show up. It's okay to speak your voice. It’s okay to speak your truth.